If at all any wonderful moment has happened in my life, it was sheer luck. Flash in a pan is one right idiom to describe and delineate my life in nut-shell. I have never executed any one thing in my life completely. I have taken same vows more than hundred times and have never successfully fulfilled them. I have never read one book in my life in totality. I have never loved someone wholly and never ever hated someone entirely.
Dunno why I am like this? I have at least thousand times decided to enhance and enrich my English vocabulary, but never succeeded in it and that is easily reflected here in these blogs!
I have been gifted bounteously effervescence and pizzazz. But I have always ignored the virtues I have and resorted to lethargy and slothfulness. I have utterly failed every single time to shepherd my army called Sense and motor organs accurately. I have always side-tracked the main issues of my life and have continually dragged unwanted and trivial issues into my life and thereby been branded a spoilt brat. I am not just spoilt brat but a totally wrecked dud :-( I have now started to realize as to how I am slowly and gradually sinking in the abysmal ocean of discontent. This is just the result of my haphazard life-style I followed and lived for 25-years. I will share the blame for my failure in my life with my parents and schooling and thereby delude myself further! I will substantiate my delusion by happily singing: "Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain, give me an other chance I wanna grow up once again". I have understood the nooks and crannies of my personality. I have fought tooth and nail with myself, realizing that this is the high time to change I have always thought of! But what to do? I have still not seen that change in me :-(
It is a perpetual battle, a perennial clash between Swaroop & Swaroop. At the end of every battle, tears have oozed out! I am now battered and bruised thoroughly. Battling with the most vicious beast on earth called Mind is very difficult indeed. This is all I could realize! I am now leading life without respect and pride. I think of extreme resistance to all adversities of life and try to renounce and retire to Himalayas. Alas! this thought can never be converted to action as I fear my ambivalent mind, which can decide and urge me to come back to the place I am now living and even positively advice me to bounce back to life. In midst of all these shambles I have built my life and the career purely on elements of luck! I just thought so much of myself today only because I saw ICSE results declared and the pass percentage in India and abroad is 98%.
Oh my God! it is amazing :-)
But where do they go?
But what happens to them later?
When will they come out spitting and spewing sparks against this corrupt world?
Why have they tried to conceal and bury their life in small cubicles and are self-centered and eventually waste one precious life?
How can these be enlightened about their roles and responsibilities?
Where from such self-aggrandized thoughts sneaked into them?
Do you know to whom I am referring to?
I am referring to those high-school and college students impregnated with intelligence.
I am referring to those high-school and college kids who overcame all odds in life to score marks abundantly in their high schools and colleges and finally landed in companies monitored by morons and leaders who are chiefly concerned with themselves.
I am referring to those high-school and college children who hated to congratulate themselves, fearing complacency and later in life became embodiments of ego-centric life-styles and epitomes of complacency!
Our country, since 1947 is in peril and justice is in stake and it has shown no signs of convalescence. This is only because of the silence the so called wise, intelligent and good people have invoked in our Incredible India. This is only because the students who were crowned as most intelligent in the state and country by the media, had loads and tons of personal agendas behind every deed of theirs. This is only because those students stopped to think, analyze and reproduce their thoughts, like they did in their 10th Std. public exams, after their crowning ceremonies took place in the premises of newspaper offices and schools. They joined the ranks of Rohit Sharmas, Manish Pandeys, Robin Uthappas and Ishant Sharmas, cricketers, who started brightly evincing acute interests in whatever they did and all that tailed off, as days, weeks, months, and years rolled by. Above all, this is only because our youth have been forced to make mistakes by the west. The west cleverly tied the mental abilities Indian students have possessed by luring them with fat salaries at the age of 21. The moment money creeps into student's mind, it along with it's gross medium "the brain" stops working. The moment Friday nights are spent in night clubs holding hands of the opposite sex, desire to overpower instincts will cease. The discriminative faculties dormant in us will forever remain dormant :-(
Our childhood desires to adopt philanthropic ideas and help every single individual in this world decays and dies. Our education system which promises so much and our school teacher who take so much of precautions to groom the students are all one day gobbled by the paltry money Obama throws by coming into MOU with Amabanis and Tatas. So we don't have Harvard and Oxfords in India and hence we remain developing nation forever. All the lower-middle class families, wants to lead a life of upper-middle class family at the cost of their children. Hence children in their families never go a step ahead of BE, MBBS
All the upper-middle class families, wants to lead a life of available richest luxuries at the cost of their children, again. Hence BE, MBBS, BA, B.Com and B.Sc marks the dusk of studies in such families and in the society one can witness the dawn of new Renaissance filled with selfish and stressed people.
Oh Goddess Saraswati Where do you go? (After 10th Std.II P.U.C. or 12th Std. and CET)
My Lovely where do you go?
I wanna know!
I have seen umpteen number of students who claim bunking the college and going out to movies, restaurants and other places for the sake of recreation and still manage to gain good marks at the end of the semester is all normal and the right way to live during college days. Well, this kind of an argument is by students who are intellectually well off. And their intellectual capabilities however tremendous it is, all becomes futile, as they become part of the 'BREAD EARNING SOCIETY'. Their knowledge is not used for anything phenomenal! Their knowledge is not judiciously used to bring about transformation at the grass root level and thereby help establish well being in the society.
Had I learnt to manage my mind and fight and win against the odds during my high-school and college days and had I learnt the value of education, I would have done something productive and contributed something precious to this country.
Though I have finished two master degrees, I know what my level of knowledge is? Though I am now pursuing my PhD, I know what my level of enthusiasm and dedication is. Everything is camouflage.
But, transparency is the need of the hour! After all, what is the difference between a dull and dumb student like me and an intelligent and wise students who score great marks, as both of us eventually toil day in and day out to earn bread, butter and 'Jam', after our education. No one could bring about a change in our country, no one can come and vote the best leader unanimously and no one can ever come out with a strong political party to help this country weed off the corrupt politicians. We can only giggle gossip and guffaw.
To do this do we need education and so much of marks? Until we don't realize that money is just part of life, the veil of ignorance is never moved even an inch. Lakshmi is the byproduct of Saraswati and never vice versa. If you out-rightly guessed that I'm defending my idiosyncrasies and stupidities, yes you are spot on. Your guess is 100% right. I am too a chickenhearted fellow, but again like others! ;-) I never transform :-)
None of us do transform, but we all pretend to transform!
Oh one thing, in case you have not understood what I have said, please don't misunderstand.
I just wanted to say, Knowledge is wealth and Lakshmi is always the by-product of Saraswati.
I know that this topic is a moot point and one can just trash this theme of mine at ease. But my effort to explain here all these things has a purpose. Hope you try and understand it ;-)
